Waiting on God

It's funny how often I will pray about something and then take action, but get frustrated with how it turns out . Then I ask God why He hasn't listened to my prayers. I get frustrated when I end up responding differently than I planned on or differently than God would want me to. In some of my classes, my professors begin the day with devotions and a couple weeks ago my professor read Psalm 27:14. It says, "Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."

I don't know how many times I've read that verse before, but sitting there in class-it hit me. How often do I pray and expect something to happen the very next day or the next time I encounter the situation? I don't know how many different times I have had conversations with people or thought about giving situations to God, but once again it is so easy not to apply to your heart what you already know in your head. I have known for a long time that patience is not one of my strengths and I know that it effects my relationships with other people, but it was not until my teacher read this verse to my class that I realized how much being impatient impacts my relationship with God. When I am impatient and take things into my own hands I am not giving space to allow God to work in my life and in other people's lives. I am not only being impatient, but also trying to take control away from God. I am essentially saying that my own ideas are better than God's. 

So many of the problems in my life come from not being willing to wait on God. How much better would my relationship with God be if I would give Him the space to do what He does best? I am the kind of person who wants to take action and fix everything, but in reality I can't. It is so easy for me to say that I trust God, but when I look at my impatience and how often I take things into my own hands it shows that I really do not trust Him the way that I should. Not only does this hurt my relationship with God and my own life, but this often impacts the people around me. My plans for myself and for the people and my life can't even begin to compare to the plans that God has for us.

I can even look at instances, since reading this verse in class, in which I have not waited on God's timing. It is a lot easier to have a revelation about something then to actually apply it to my life. Waiting on God is not just about the big things like wanting to see family members that I have prayed for 10 or more years to have a relationship with God, or knowing what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life. But waiting on God is about the little things to like learning to respond better when I do not get my way or being able to have that important conversation that I need to have with someone. For me waiting on God means admitting that my own plans are not equivalent to God's, learning to be patient, and actually trusting in the Lord.

So this week I am not going to focus on what I want to do with my life, or that mission's trip I want to go on, or that relationship that I wish was going differently. But instead I am sitting those things down and my goal for this week is to pray, read my bible, and just spend time with God. I am going to wait on the Lord with the Lord.     

Saved By Grace

I grew up always hearing about grace and how God's "Amazing grace saved a wretch like me". But I think that it was something that I really had trouble fully comprehending, and still am in awe of, even now. Grace is used many times in the bible, but do we really get what it means? For a long time I used the words mercy and grace innerchangably and thought that they pretty much meant the same thing. But actually mercy means not getting a punishment that you deserve, while grace is getting something that you do not deserve. 

The dictionary definition of grace is: The free and unmerited favor of God as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings. Unmerited means something that is not deserved and it is hard to accurately translate the meaning of favor in the bible, but it basically means preferential treatment denoting acceptance, approval, and pleasure. Wow! Just the definition of grace blows me away. I am a sinner, I am broken, I am undeserving of favor. Yet God has chosen me!! He looks past my brokenness and says; "I have chosen you and I love you" Nothing I can do can be good enough to deserve what God has given me, but He gives it freely anyways. He looks upon me in pleasure, not because of anything I have done, but because of who HE is. 

Every single day I make mistakes that show to me just how undeserving I am of God. Whether it is reacting unkindly towards someone, letting my anger get the best of me, or having a negative thought about someone; the majority of my actions are undeserving of God. And this doesn't even take into account the "big sins" (in our human perception) that I and others commit. Yet God's grace covers my sins, it is what allows me to start fresh each day and is what allows me to continue to push forward despite my failures.

2 Corinthians 12:8-9 says, "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness,'" Sometimes things happen as a natural consequence of our choices, sometimes God allows things to happen, and sometimes things happen that have nothing to do with our own choices. When I screw up it is the grace of God-Jesus's sacrifice on the cross that keeps me from getting what I deserve. And when something happens that has nothing to do with my actions it is still God's grace that pulls me through. My weakness whether it is because of sin or my limited ability as a human is NOT a bad thing because through MY weakness, God has shown me grace and that is when His ultimate power can be seen. 

There are currently situations in my life where God's grace has become very apparent to me. Some of the choices I have made caused those situations and I deserve death and separation from God, but His grace allows me to be in communion with Him and He carries me through these situations. And parts of the situations I have no control over, but God has been showing me over and over how these so called "bad things" are in my life for a reason and it is His grace that will carry me through and help me to come out stronger. And as I rely on God and the grace He has bestowed upon me, these tough situations turn into blessings that make my life even fuller. 

"Do you find life too difficult for you? So did we, but not now, with the amplitudes of grace there are for us in Jesus Christ, it grows satisfying and successful and exciting beyond measure, becomes another and richer thing." -A.J. Gossip

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