Our Story-Part 1

I often get surprised looks when people ask how long Phil and I have been together; or how long we have known each other. We often get asked our story and how we’ve ended up together-a common question when you are engaged. I don’t know how many times we have already had to share our story and it honestly never ceases to amaze me, how all the little pieces fit perfectly together. 

It’s funny...I remember on multiple occasions, being told when talking about relationships,“When you know, you just know.” I have been through a few different relationships and there were times when I thought I knew, but wasn’t sure. And I would hear people saying that to me when I would get stressed out, thinking...but what does that look like, How do I actually know? 

When you don’t know, it is hard to understand what other people are talking about. But with Phil, once I knew, I really KNEW. All those little pieces just fell into place and I knew. Phil is the man I am supposed to marry. Other times I ‘thought I knew’ seem pale in comparison. I honestly laugh when I think about those times and how I had no idea what was in store. 

It didn’t take very long for both Phil and I to know, but each person’s story is different. I don’t ever want anyone to think that their own story isn’t valuable or that it has to happen the way ours or the way someone elses did. God brought Phil and I together at exactly the right time for us...at the time when we were ready for each other. But that is jumping ahead a bit (bare with me as I will have to jump around a little), because that isn’t actually when we met. 

During the Summer 2016 my mom’s side of the family decided to go camping for the weekend at Sandy Cove, a Christian retreat center in Maryland. We hadn’t gone in a few years and we just happened to go on the weekend after the Homeschool family camp week. For this particular family camp, there is a family life coach that comes every year-all the way from Illinois with his wife and 9 kids. This family always comes and stays for the weekend before and after family camp ends. 

On Saturday afternoon, some of my cousins, my friend, Heather, and I happened to be sitting in the hot tub talking when a guy came up to us and introduced himself...he told us all that a bunch of people were getting together later in the evening to play volleyball at the gym. Heather loves playing volleyball, so she along with my uncle and cousin went over to play. I joined soon after to watch with my mom and some of my cousins. I remember one of the guys calling over to me and asking why I wasn’t playing. He was cute, but I didn’t think much of it since I was in a relationship. 

After the volleyball game, the guys invited all of us to go to the late night swim. A couple of us went over to the pool...I sat on the edge with my mom and one of my cousins and a few of us were talking. I started talking to the guy that had asked me why I wasn’t playing volleyball. I learned that he graduated from Liberty University and did some work over in Zimbabwe with an orphanage. I happened to be going to Africa (Ethiopia) to student teach, for the first time in the fall. We talked about school and missions for maybe 10 minutes and then joined in conversation with other people.  The next afternoon we left to head back home and I didn’t think anything more of it. 

Fast forward to November/December of 2016 when I was now single and student teaching in Ethiopia. Ethiopia was a huge time of learning and growing for me. After being in relationships that didn’t last, I remember hitting a point where I finally realized something about myself. I realized that if (a very big IF in my mind) there was a guy out there for me, he would have to be a very special guy. Not because I think I am extremely special or anything. On the contrary...because I am a very complicated person and have some pretty extreme dreams. I often take on the burdens of others (sometimes people I know, sometimes people I don’t) and wear my heart on my sleeve. I also have a huge passion for adoption and missions...which I’ve noticed that many Christian guys near my age don’t have a heart for that. 

Letting go of “the need” to be married and controlling my future was not a one time thing for me-it was a process. Realizing what I did, about myself and relationships in Ethiopia was a part of that. Returning home from Ethiopia I knew I wanted to live more actively for God in the area of missions and caring for the world. Shortly after arriving home I saw a post from the guy that I had talked to at Sandy Cove...he had posted a link on facebook about how he, some of his siblings, and friends were raising money for another trip to Zimbabwe. 

I messaged him asking about details of the trip and prayed about giving to the trip. We had a quick conversation about it and he politely asked how I was doing and I asked him as well. Philip (I assume you know who is the guy is by now), mentioned that he recently started working with Young Life. At the time, I was with Heather and mentioned his trip to Zimbabwe; I remember joking to her about how all the great Christian guys were already married or taken. 

Then for some reason (it was odd considering I wouldn’t have normally said things like that), I said to Heather “Too bad...he seems like he would be perfect for me.” Heather laughed and said something along the lines of, “hmm...maybe they will break up.” We both laughed and changed the subject, but I remember quickly praying in my head, half jokingly... “God, he seems like a great guy, but he is obviously taken. Well if there’s a chance he could be the guy for me, you’ll just have to break them up I guess.”

In hindsight I still laugh...I don’t have a clue what possessed me to say that, except maybe there was a subconscious part of me that knew something my conscious self didn’t yet know. After that conversation I forgot about it and went on with my life trying to figure out what I was going to do next and start looking for a job. A month or two later I had finally given over my desire to get married to God. I told him that I would go anywhere in the world that he wanted me to go and if I didn’t ever get married then I would rely on Him and be okay with that. 

To be continued...

Photo Credits: http://danielletristaphot.wixsite.com/danielletrista