Our Story-Part 2

Upon coming to the realization that my life wouldn’t be over if I didn’t get married, I started praying about serving overseas and looking into various opportunities. Looking back over the last year, another thing I’ve learned about relationships, is that there are two people involved. Two people who may be coming from very different walks of life. Sometimes timing is everything...just because one person is at a point in their life where they have let go of the past and desires they might have, it does not mean the other person will reach that place at the same time. God often has a way of bringing people together when the time is right for both of those people. 

For Philip and I it just happened to be around the same time, but I’ll get back to that. In February I remember that Philip had recently gotten back from working with the orphanage in Zimbabwe. I messaged him asking how the trip went and was suprised to see how quickly he was responding and how long his messages were to me. It didn’t take me long discover that Phil wasn’t dating anyone anymore. We kept talking more and more, we talked all about missions and God, our dreams, our likes and dislikes and our testimonies.

After about a week of writing back and forth we FaceTimed and we talked for at least an hour. We continued talking about the same things we were writing about and never ran out of things to talk about. Then I started to get a little weirded out. We almost seemed to have too much in common. It seemed too good to be true. I was already wondering if he was the man I was going to marry, but I kept telling myself that I was being ridiculous and there was no way that I could know yet. But looking back now I realize that I did, I was just scared that I was jumping ahead of myself.

As we kept talking, we only found more in common. I think one of the reasons we knew so early on was because of being long distance. We didn’t do things like go to the movies or play games with friends, all we could do was talk...and so we did. We talked and messaged for hours. Up until Philip told me that he was starting to have feelings for me I wasn’t sure if the feeling was mutual on his end. I think he wondered the same thing. But it was. Only a few short months later we started dating the weekend he came to visit me for my graduation, and I guess you could say and the rest is history!

After we started dating and talked more...I realized how God was working things out on Phil’s end while he was working things out in me. While Phil was in college there was a time where he wasn’t living for God. He reached a point where he knew he needed to get things right with God and recommitted his life. After awhile of following God he met a nice Christian girl and they started dating. But around the  time that I handed my future in relationships over to God, the girl he was dating broke up with him. He knew for a day or so that it was coming and spent time praying about it. By the time they talked he felt completely at peace about it. 

Phil’s parents have said to him that seeing how he handled the break was a huge testament to the change in his life and his relationship with God. It was the first major thing that happened in his life since recommitting himself to God. Only a few weeks after that happened and after I surrendered my life to God was when we reconnected. Looking back I can see how both Phil and I both needed to get to certain places before God placed us in each other’s lives for a relationship.

Phil and I will probably never get tired of going back to the story of how our relationship started...because it is such an amazing example of God’s love and care for us. Our story has reminded me over and over that God cares so much about the little details and he knows our hearts more than we can even imagine. One of our favorite songs is called When God made you by NewSong. There is a verse that says,               
“I wonder what God was thinking when he created you. I wonder if he knew everything I would need because he made all my dreams come true. When God made you he must have been thinking about me.”

I know without a doubt that God was preparing and planning for Phil and I to be a part of each other's lives long before we had even met. Phil is everything that I (and my mother) had ever prayed for. He is also many things that I never prayed for...things my heart whispered that my words could never form. As cliche as this sounds, Philip really does complete me. It is as if God made Philip and I in such a way so that when He put us together and when we become one...we will be whole and more effective.

I share this story, because our story is a testimony of God's faithfulness and how much good he has in-store for each of us. No matter where you are at in life and your journey, know that God's timing is perfect. When we allow God to have our focus and trust it allows Him to work more fully in our lives. And as your allow God to work in you He will shape and grow your own desires, with His desires for you. Remember, that even if you are ready for something or someone...there are also other factors coming into play. Continue to serve and trust Him and the Lord will provide. He is preparing you for a lifetime of adventures. I for one am so excited for the adventures that life will bring for Philip and I, with God at our side!

Mark 10:6-9,"At the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' For this reason a man will leave His father and mother and be united to His wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer, but one flesh, Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

The End (for now).

Photo credits: Danielle Trista Photography

Our Story-Part 1

I often get surprised looks when people ask how long Phil and I have been together; or how long we have known each other. We often get asked our story and how we’ve ended up together-a common question when you are engaged. I don’t know how many times we have already had to share our story and it honestly never ceases to amaze me, how all the little pieces fit perfectly together. 

It’s funny...I remember on multiple occasions, being told when talking about relationships,“When you know, you just know.” I have been through a few different relationships and there were times when I thought I knew, but wasn’t sure. And I would hear people saying that to me when I would get stressed out, thinking...but what does that look like, How do I actually know? 

When you don’t know, it is hard to understand what other people are talking about. But with Phil, once I knew, I really KNEW. All those little pieces just fell into place and I knew. Phil is the man I am supposed to marry. Other times I ‘thought I knew’ seem pale in comparison. I honestly laugh when I think about those times and how I had no idea what was in store. 

It didn’t take very long for both Phil and I to know, but each person’s story is different. I don’t ever want anyone to think that their own story isn’t valuable or that it has to happen the way ours or the way someone elses did. God brought Phil and I together at exactly the right time for us...at the time when we were ready for each other. But that is jumping ahead a bit (bare with me as I will have to jump around a little), because that isn’t actually when we met. 

During the Summer 2016 my mom’s side of the family decided to go camping for the weekend at Sandy Cove, a Christian retreat center in Maryland. We hadn’t gone in a few years and we just happened to go on the weekend after the Homeschool family camp week. For this particular family camp, there is a family life coach that comes every year-all the way from Illinois with his wife and 9 kids. This family always comes and stays for the weekend before and after family camp ends. 

On Saturday afternoon, some of my cousins, my friend, Heather, and I happened to be sitting in the hot tub talking when a guy came up to us and introduced himself...he told us all that a bunch of people were getting together later in the evening to play volleyball at the gym. Heather loves playing volleyball, so she along with my uncle and cousin went over to play. I joined soon after to watch with my mom and some of my cousins. I remember one of the guys calling over to me and asking why I wasn’t playing. He was cute, but I didn’t think much of it since I was in a relationship. 

After the volleyball game, the guys invited all of us to go to the late night swim. A couple of us went over to the pool...I sat on the edge with my mom and one of my cousins and a few of us were talking. I started talking to the guy that had asked me why I wasn’t playing volleyball. I learned that he graduated from Liberty University and did some work over in Zimbabwe with an orphanage. I happened to be going to Africa (Ethiopia) to student teach, for the first time in the fall. We talked about school and missions for maybe 10 minutes and then joined in conversation with other people.  The next afternoon we left to head back home and I didn’t think anything more of it. 

Fast forward to November/December of 2016 when I was now single and student teaching in Ethiopia. Ethiopia was a huge time of learning and growing for me. After being in relationships that didn’t last, I remember hitting a point where I finally realized something about myself. I realized that if (a very big IF in my mind) there was a guy out there for me, he would have to be a very special guy. Not because I think I am extremely special or anything. On the contrary...because I am a very complicated person and have some pretty extreme dreams. I often take on the burdens of others (sometimes people I know, sometimes people I don’t) and wear my heart on my sleeve. I also have a huge passion for adoption and missions...which I’ve noticed that many Christian guys near my age don’t have a heart for that. 

Letting go of “the need” to be married and controlling my future was not a one time thing for me-it was a process. Realizing what I did, about myself and relationships in Ethiopia was a part of that. Returning home from Ethiopia I knew I wanted to live more actively for God in the area of missions and caring for the world. Shortly after arriving home I saw a post from the guy that I had talked to at Sandy Cove...he had posted a link on facebook about how he, some of his siblings, and friends were raising money for another trip to Zimbabwe. 

I messaged him asking about details of the trip and prayed about giving to the trip. We had a quick conversation about it and he politely asked how I was doing and I asked him as well. Philip (I assume you know who is the guy is by now), mentioned that he recently started working with Young Life. At the time, I was with Heather and mentioned his trip to Zimbabwe; I remember joking to her about how all the great Christian guys were already married or taken. 

Then for some reason (it was odd considering I wouldn’t have normally said things like that), I said to Heather “Too bad...he seems like he would be perfect for me.” Heather laughed and said something along the lines of, “hmm...maybe they will break up.” We both laughed and changed the subject, but I remember quickly praying in my head, half jokingly... “God, he seems like a great guy, but he is obviously taken. Well if there’s a chance he could be the guy for me, you’ll just have to break them up I guess.”

In hindsight I still laugh...I don’t have a clue what possessed me to say that, except maybe there was a subconscious part of me that knew something my conscious self didn’t yet know. After that conversation I forgot about it and went on with my life trying to figure out what I was going to do next and start looking for a job. A month or two later I had finally given over my desire to get married to God. I told him that I would go anywhere in the world that he wanted me to go and if I didn’t ever get married then I would rely on Him and be okay with that. 

To be continued...

Photo Credits: http://danielletristaphot.wixsite.com/danielletrista