Time for School

As my first half of student teaching is about to begin, I wanted to share about the other students that are about to embark on a similiar journey. My student teaching in Ethiopia has been made possible by an organization call Interaction International. This organization is "a voice for today's third culture kids kids and internationally mobile families," A smaller branch of this program, CCTECC partners with Christian Universities across the country to make it possible for students like me to student teach all over the world. In April I had the experience of traveling to Indiana with two girls from Cairn for our Pre-Experience Orientation. I had never met the girls before and was nervous to be driving 10+ hours, but we quickly were able to connect and had a lot to talk about.

I had no idea what to expect for the orientation, however it only took me a few minutes to see that I was in a room surrounded by 40+ other people who have similar passions for children, God, and cultural diversity. There are times when I feel discouraged and as if I am the only person in the world who feels a certain way or has a passion for living out God's calling. But God always sends awake up cacall. When I am surrounded by other passionate people it’s like I hear God saying, “See, silly girl? You aren’t alone. Don’t be so self-centered and prideful to think that you are my only child who desires for the world to change and for my children to be cared for!” (Of course I think of Him saying it in a kind, loving way as he shakes his head at my childlike attitude).

As I spent time praying, sharing, and learning with the other soon-to-be student teachers I began to feel rejuvenated and even more passionate about what I was about to do. Because I wasn’t going to be alone! While I am teaching in Ethiopia there will be others in Panama, Costa Rica, Germany, Thailand, China, New Zealand, Australia, and many other places! I also was encouraged, because sometimes I felt alone at Eastern University, especially being the only Education major going abroad. But at orientation I met others from Messiah, Houghton, Hope College, Biola, and other Christian colleges across the United States.

Talking and spending time with the other students I heard excitement about working with children, sharing the love of Christ, exploring and understanding other cultures, and living out God’s callings through their lives. Even though I have not seen any of the others who are going abroad since orientation I know that God is already working in their lives and going to big things through them! As we begin the school year, please not only be praying for me, but also the other students going out through CCTECC.

Pray for:

-Safety and basic needs being met

-Challenge and growth in our relationships with God

-Increased passion for our calling as Christian’s

-The lives we are around being impacted (students, teachers, others in the country)

-The lives of people at home being impacted through us. 

Let the Little Children Come to Me

Recently God has been putting a lot about His children on my heart. And in past years I have had many opportunities to work with Children's ministry in the inner city and it something that God has always given me a passion for. But over the last year or two it has been a lot harder to get involved with school, and working a lot to be able to finish school. However, I often still feel the longing to be able to work more with the children that God has placed on my heart. So I was so excited to find out that Lighthouse Community Church was doing their VBS this year at a time and week that I was completely available. Lighthouse is located a few blocks away from Urban Hope, which I have attended and worked with in the past, and I have friends who attend this church. So the week of July 22-26, I left straight from work and headed to Kensington for VBS. 

The first day there was a huge storm so not as many kids came out, but sitting there on floor with those kids felt so right. I'm always reminded that this is what I am called to do. . The theme was Cave Quest- Lighthouse did an amazing job decorating for it! The walls were all covered in brown papere and there were stalactites, stalagmites, and other really cool decorations. There was singing and small group time and then the children went to four different centers.Each night was a different theme: Jesus gives us...HOPE, COURAGE, DIRECTION, LOVE, and HIS POWER. Spelunkers sports were group games and relays. During Cavern Cafe, the kids got a snack that went with the night's theme and they watched a video how Jesus give a child hope, courage, etc.. in a situation that they were facing. In Imagination station the kids got to do different experiments. And then in the Deep Bible Quest there was a different story each night. 

I was part of the Teal crew and the crews were divided by mixed age groups and we moved from station to station together. There were children that grew up in the church and children who had never even prayed in their lives. It brought me joy to dance with them, to see their faces light up as they made green slime, and too talk about Jesus and pray with them. As usual, I am sure they had a bigger impact on me than I had on them. While I was there I looked around and thought of the verse, Mark 10:14 "When Jesus saw this he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let all the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, For the kingdom of God belongs to such as these,'" This is a verse that we definitely talk about as Christians, but this time I saw it differently.

I realized something, not only has God has given ALL Christians the calling to care for the widows, and the orphans (James 1:27), but He also tells us NOT TO HINDER the children from coming to Him. It hit me that if I individually, or we as the church, are not providing for the orphans and children in need, we are hindering them. This can look differently for what I should be doing; maybe it's my lack of volunteering or financial support right around me, or maybe it's overseas. If a child is not getting their basic needs met, learning about Jesus, or recieving the love and attention they need, then that is hindering them from coming to God. When these things are not happening it is my job and OUR job as the church to make sure that no child is being hindered from being cared for and having the opportunity to enter the kingdom of God. 

So as I looked around at the smiling faces look up at me and the little arms reaching out to hug me, I knew. It doesn't matter how little time or little money I have. I still need to give-just as the woman with the one coin did. Obviously it will look different at different points of my life, but I am called. It was great that I was able to help with Cave Quest, especially since they were short a helper and I know the kids learned so much and I gave them as much love as I could, but I was truly the one who was blessed. After all, living out our callings that God has given us: 'Let all the little children come to me' is the purpose of our lives here on earth. 

Unexpected Roadtrip to Las Vegas

With my trip to Ethiopia, coming up this fall, I did not have any big vacation or traveling plans for this summer-until a few weeks ago. When I found out that one of my dearest friends, Nikki, was planning on moving to Las Vegas, Nevada and driving out by herself I found myself volunteering for the journey! It ended up being a double blessing, because God knew the trip would not only be safer if Nikki had a friend to share the driving and time with, but also because He knew I needed that quality time with her and a bit of adventure to grow closer to Him. :)  

Nikki and I met in my junior year of high school and became part of the same group of friends. After I got back from YWAM, Nikki told me of her interest & I helped her to research some different schools. She ended up doing her DTS in Panama and spent the next 2 and 1/2 years or so working with YWAM. Since then, we have become so close through holiday visits, messaging, and skype. Our trip out West was full of lots of driving, laughter, more serious conversation, beautiful sights, and some fun adventures. Pictures are worth a thousand words, so here is a bit of our trip!

Nikki and I left around 11pm on Wednesday night.

We reached Chicago, Illinois by 9am Thursday morning. I don't really have many pictures of PA, Ohio, Indiana, or Illinois, but we did get to stop and have breakfast with my friend from YWAM. Kristina and I haven't seen eachother in  3 years-It was a short but wonderful reunion! 

We traveled through the remainder of Illinois and Iowa and then slept in Omaha, Nebraska for the night.

On Friday we spent the morning driving through rainstorms in Nebraska, but our spirits were brightened when we saw the sign for Colorado. We knew it was going to be beautiful, but we weren't prepared for the breathtaking sights we encountered. The farther we drove the more beautiful it became.

Friday night we stayed in Moab, Utah and it was dark as we drove into the state so we weren't prepared for the view that we would see in the morning. There were also horses behind our hotel :) We were surrounded by redrocks for most of the drive through Utah. 

We arrived at the Grand Canyon on Saturday afternoon and spent a few hot, but wonderful hours there before finishing our journey to Vegas.

We finally arrived! 

 This is a view of the Watch Tower overlooking the Grand Canyon, which you can climb up for a view from the top floor!

The ride from the Grand Canyon to Las Vegas was supposed to be 4 1/2 hours, but there was an accident so we spent 2 hours not moving on the highway.

We arrived in Las Vegas late Saturday night and most of the family was asleep. In the morning I met the Thompson's and their 5 children. Just in my one day there I was able to see what an amazing, God following, passionate family they all were. I knew right away that it would be hard to leave

Nikki and I spent the afternoon exploring Las Vegas with her spiritual mom, Jen. 

I got to eat at In-And-Out Burger for the 1st time! We saw some of the views on the strip and then headed inside because it was extremely hot. One of the hotels had a conservatory with a Finding Dory theme!

The fountain show we watched before heading back to the house. 

Not the best pictures-but Nikki and I went on a walk in the neighborhood that night. We got a surprise fireworks show AND snuck out into the dessert and climbed the mountain surrounding the neighborhood. The picture just didn't do our view justice. 

Leaving Nikki was extremely hard, but knowing that she is with such an amazing family helped. The adventure went my so quickly, but I was so blessed to be a part of it. Through this trip God allowed me to become even closer with one of my best friends-and to see His love through my relationship with her and interactions with others. Using the amazing places in our country that I had a privelidge to see, God reminded me of how BIG, POWERFUL, and CREATIVE He is. God takes my breathe away. 

Why Ethiopia?

God's timing is nothing like our timing and He doesn't always speak to us the same way each time or when we want Him too. I remember when I came back from YWAM, Costa Rica in June 2012 (Wow! It seriously has been 4 years), I had all these ideas of how I was going to live more radically, specifically in my relationship with God and missions. I am pretty sure I told people that I was going to go on short term mission's trips to other countries every year. Well four years later and I haven't had the chance to leave the country again. My relationship with God has also had its ups and downs. Sometimes I grow frustrated because I am not where I would thought I would be 4 years ago. I pray and pray and I don't feel like God is speaking to me specifically, but once again God's ways and timing amaze me!

God uses situations that seem rather insignificant overtime to prepare me for what He has planned. When I look over the last year I am enthralled by the way that God used one situation after another to speak to me later on down the road. So for the first time in over four years I will have the opportunity to leave the country. I will be doing half of my student teaching in Ethiopia! When people find out that I am going to Ethiopia I get a number of reactions. The two most popular are, "Why Ethiopia?" and "But you speak Spanish!" And I know..there are moments that I think about that too. But it is actually a wonderful story about how God can change hearts and speak in many ways. 

I had always been very interested in Latin America, the culture, and speaking Spanish. Shortly after YWAM I had friends from Costa Rica that began doing missions and traveling in other areas. God began a process in my heart over the last four years and I began to see the beauty and need in other parts of the world. I finally told God that if He ever sent me out into the mission field again I would go to wherever He wanted me, to any part of the world. Then after 5 or 6 years of sponsoring children from Spanish speaking countries I felt this weird tug to sponsor a child from a different country. So sometime in June 2015 I began looking through a list of "longest wait children" on Compassion's website. And before I knew it I was sponsoring a four year old girl from Ethiopia. 

I was excited to begin learning God's heart for her and I read all the information that was provided about her area. So in September when I began my geography class and found out we had to choose a part of the world to research and present it seemed natural to choose Northeast Africa. God continued opening my heart to Ethiopia as I was researching it and at the same time I realized it was time to start my Student teaching application process. I was honestly dreading student teaching and I mentioned this to my dear friend, Miranda. She told me that she was too originally, but now was looking forward to it since she was student teaching in Guatemala. I had no idea that it was possible to student teach in another country! She gave me the website and that night I was looking through the schools that I could teach at through this program and the first school to pop out to me was: Bingham Academy in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. 

I thought of Ruzeya and everything I was learning and I looked at the website for the school. It seemed perfect. So I applied with Ethiopia being my first choice, but also with some schools from Central America, and even one in Asia. I prayed to God and knew if this was not the right decision He would either close the door to Ethiopia or to the program all together. I learned about the program so late that I had already missed the deadline for the application, I knew that if God really wanted this for me that He would figure it out. And by God's grace Bingham Academy chose to accept me as a student teacher from mid October to mid December 2016. 

So when people ask me "Why Ethiopia?" or "But you speak Spanish" I now smile...It's what God wants. And He may have been fine with other countries or other life choices as well and I am sure He would also use those for His glory, but right now God has something special for me there. I don't know what will happen after I come back and graduate, but after look back on the last 5 years I trust God. He has been preparing me for this and He will use it all to his glory. Sometimes God speaks to us in subtle ways and His plans just fall into place.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sincerely appreciate all of the wonderful people that God has placed in my life. And how those people have allowed God to work through them to draw me closer to Him. I really appreciate all of your prayers. Here are some ways you can partner with me through prayer:

-Time management-Getting everything I need done in a timely manner
-For finances regarding my Visa, plane ticket, and vaccines
-That God would be glorified through my life leading up to Ethiopia
-That my heart and mind would be open to be impacted by God and the people He places in my life
-That God would prepare the way for me so that He can impact others through me. 

"He said to them, 'Go into the world and preach the gospel to all of Creation'" Mark 16:15

When My Feet May Fail

Recently I've had the opportunity to go to the beach and, not to my suprise, it is just as beautiful in the winter as in the summer. The warm, white sand between my toes, the foamy waves slapping the shore, and the smell of salt in the air. There is something special about the beach, something different.

Standing at the edge of the water, staring out into the ocean. There is nowhere else that I can be facing one direction looking at the houses and all the people and then I can turn around and its all gone. Completely gone, nothing except for the unending waters and sky stretched before me. God's creation. I realize just how small I am and how big the world is. I am reminded of the song, Oceans (Where my feet may fail), from Hillsong United. It starts off with the words:

"You call me out upon the waters 

The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery 
in oceans deep
My faith will stand"

So much of my life is unknown. Whether or not I am following God I do not know what is coming in the next year, let alone the next hour. But when I choose to live for God I am saying that I will go wherever he sends me. This is so much easier said than done; sometimes I doubt God multiple times a day and I often feel unworthy and unable to do what he has asked me to.

"And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters 

Your sovereign hand 

Will be my guide

Where my feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed and You won't start now"

But 2 Corinithians 12:9b reminds me, that "God's power is made perfect in MY weakness". Without my faith in God I will fail. But it is his power that allows me to carry forward. When I call on Him, when I keep my eyes on him, when I rest in Him-I can follow where he leads me. And this song does a really good job at summing up how I want to live and how God wants me to live. 

It is because of God's grace that I am here today. I fail; I am not enough. I would drown in a never ending ocean. But when God is carrying me, the unknown is no longer scary, but a place to grow closer to God. It is a place where I can more fully rely on him. 

So when I feel like I am drowning and my troubles begin to overtake me, I can close my eyes and picture the ocean before my with my world and troubles behind me. The words from Oceans flow through my head and I am reminded that God has called me out upon the sea. And he will not fail me. To me, standing out on the beach not only reminds me how big God is or how marvelous his creation is, but also that I am his and that in his grace I can call to him, rest in him, and follow him. 

"I will call upon Your name

Keep my eyes above the waves 

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours and you are mine"

Open Heart

I once read a passage that created an image of myself 'holding some coins in the palm of my hand. If I hold my hand flat and someone takes those coins I will lose them, but it won't hurt for them to be taken away. However, if I close my fist around them and someone takes them away I will still lose them, but it will be a lot more painful for that person to pry my fist open.' It is very similar to the dreams, situations, and people in our lives. If God needs to take things out of ours lives, even for just a short time, if we hold on tight and refuse to let go it will hurt a whole lot more, cost a lot of our time, and make it harder for us to grow closer in our relationship with God.

I can say from experience, that tighter I have held on to things in my life not only is it painful, but it dimishes my trust in God and often creates a distance between us. Often once I get an idea in my head of what might happen in my future I tend to subconsciously hold on to it for dear life. But the reality is, my ways are NOT God's ways. The things in my life, and the plans that I have may look like they are glorifying to God, but he still may have something different in-store for me.

Honestly, I wasn't always this way. I remember a time before and in YWAM where my future was pretty much a blank slate. I had been accepted to Eastern, but I didn't even know if I was going to college, or staying in Costa Rica, or doing another school with YWAM. I knew I wanted to serve God  and someday get married and have children, but I was a completely blank book. I had no idea what my future would look like and I was totally okay with it.

When I came home it was hard because I knew I wanted to stay in Costa Rica, but for some reason God was calling me home. Readjusting was really difficult for me and the reserve culture shock hit me hard. However, after about a month God began to open doors for me leading me towards opportunities, friendships, and places that filled the hole in the my heart. Everything that was happening in my life was following both, my desires and honoring to God. It was practically perfect.

The man who I was dating, at the time, gave me an open heart necklace for Christmas. Open Hearts are a collection by Jane Seymour, where there are two open hearts that are connected without closer on both ends. He shared that it was a reminder about having an open heart about our future and about what God had instore for us. I absolutely loved and wanted to have an open heart. However, I did not really get what that would mean. I like the direction my life was headed and since it was honoring God I never imagined it would change. However, it would be another year or so before I realized that by putting so much stock in my 'God honoring life' that I was not actually honoring Him or is right and ability to take away or give me what I needed or wanted. 

A few months later many things in my life changed; relationships, friends, what I thought my future might look like. And unfortunately it was a very painful time for me because I held onto my life through a closed fist. It took over two years for me to heal from how I responded to God's decision to change my life. Having an open heart to what God wants for me is still something I am learning today. 

My open heart necklace will always be a special reminder to me that having an open heart allows God to work in my life and helps me to grow closer to him. This concept has become such a major theme in my life that before leaving for college I got the tattoo of a open heart on my left shoulder with the reference Jeremiah 29:11 beside it. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you" says the Lord, "Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future," 

To many people, this verse has a special meaning, but I really do believe that God means that specifically for ME (and you too!). Jeremiah 29:11 not only reminds me that God's hand is working in my life and that he has something marvelous for me, but also that His ways are Higher than my own and even when my life does not go as I think it should God still promises me a hope And a future. When God takes or gives something to me, it is out of his love for me. 

Currently there are many unknowns in my life. Unknowns about finishing school, paying loans, finding a job, relationships, and how God will use me. But each day when I wake up I need to remind my self to surrender to God. I recognize that God has a plan instore for me and that He knows what is to come in my life shows me how loved I am. Recognizing that having an open yeart to the future and  holding my life openly in my hand helps me to become more dependent on him and walk closer with him each day. I have a long way to go, but I desire to live the life that God has for me and the in the way that he has for me. With an Open Heart. 

A Legacy to Hold Onto

Not too long ago, I lost someone who holds a dear place in my heart. And I didn't get to say goodbye. This situation was painful, but also changed my perspective on quite a few things. I learned a lot about time, grudges, and relationships. Time passes by so quickly-in one moment everything you know can change. James 4:14 says, "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." If our lives are like a vapor, how much more fleeting are the individual moments in our lives?Time passing by is often a cliche topic, especially among followers of Christ. Yet it is something that is completely different to know in your head than to experience in your heart. And now time has taken on a different meaning to me.

Like many people, I struggle to stay connected with people who are not physically in my life. I love my friends from home and elsewhere, but years can go by without talking to them if they are not part of my my immediate life. After high school, with graduating from youth group and switching churches with my family, I began to lose contact with my youth leader, Karen. After starting college, Karen was diagnosed with cancer and going through chemo. I found out when I was added to a prayer group for her. I was saddened to see this, but we had lost touch and I was so caught up in my own life that I only thought of her every once in awhile.

Then in August, during RA training, I saw that she had been moved to hospice and it hit me that even though people can better, Karen clearly was not, at least at this point. It also hit me that I had allowed so much time to pass without reconnecting and letting her know how much she meant to me. I contacted her daughter and made plans to try and go home early during the school year after RA responsibilities slowed down. However, less than a week later, Jesus took Karen home to be with him.

I sat there, in shock after finding out. She no longer was in pain and she was celebrating with Jesus. But she was too young to die. She still had so much to give. But more than that- I was too late. I would never get a chance to tell her what she meant to me. I didn't get to say goodbye. One moment she was there and I was praying for her and the next she was gone and I could never get the time back that I had lost.

I only had a short time with Karen. She and her husband started helping with my youth group after I was already in the senior high. I'm sure it wasn't easy when they first started helping our youth group-most people lead youth group when they first get out of college or are newly married, but Karen and her husband already had grown children. Yet they still chose to give time out of every week, and more when they would took us on mission's trips. Karen had not lived an easy life; it would have been so easy for her to give up and to not follow God. She could have become bitter, but instead she always had a smile and a hug for us each week when we walked in the door. Karen chose to trust God and she persevered through each situation.

To make this time even more brief, shortly after high school I was angry about something silly, but I never told her about it. There was a situation that Karen had said something to me that was not meant to be hurtful, but she did not know the situation or what was actually going on. I was dealing with a lot and her comment felt insensitive and unkind. Since I did not really see her anymore, I never talked to her about it. That moment wasn't what kept me from her; I forgave and forgot long ago-but it aided in leading to my disconnection to her. The situation would not have been hurtful had I not been in such a hard place. And if I had talked to her, we would have had the opportunity to grow even closer.

Now looking back, I see how much I missed out on, but also how much she left behind for me. I see Karen's character. She was a servant. Humble, giving, compassionate, hardworking, and above all she followed in Jesus' footsteps. Her life has recently taught me so much. Although it is painful when I think about the opportunity that I lost, I smile when I think about her perfect life with Jesus. I've realized the importance of not letting opportunities pass me by and taking advantage of each moment. I've seen how allowing a misunderstanding to go unaddressed can hurt relationships and lead to regret. I've also learned from Karen, the kind of person that I want to be and the legacy I want to leave behind. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Karen-I am so blessed to have known her and am so thankful for how her life has touched mine. 

You will never be forgotten, I love you Karen.